After a few of my latest ‘dating’ experiences and reaching over a year of being a singleton I thought it was about time I shared a little more about my love life on my blog. Or rather, the very large lack of it. Because hopefully it’ll make one of you fellow singletons out there feel better about your situation, because it can’t be anymore dire than mine.
I’ve tried a few things this year to throw myself out of my confidence zone and out of my single life but still i’ve had no luck. However along the way i’ve racked up a few tales and I think it could be quite an interesting stage to document, so a few upcoming posts are going to do just that. Over the last year ive been speed dating twice, tried all the apps that ever existed and even managed to swing an audition for Take Me Out. But through it all i’ve discovered that I like meeting people the old way. Through real life experiences. I can tell if i’m into someone within a few minutes and whilst it can be exciting getting to get to know someone through a dating app or site, it can get stale and repetitive quite quickly and it also leads on to two of my biggest dating issues, my dateaphobia and friendzoning.
I don’t know where my dateaphobia originated from. It probably stems from the fact that my last relationship came about due to friends setting us up, and the same happened for the one before that. I never had to do the dating thing before. But I have an actual fear of dates and going on them. I’d love to be that girl that goes on a few dates a week, but as much as I try, it just doesn’t happen. A combination of a lack of offers and confidence means i’m stuck in some weird stalemate zone. I have some weird totally irrational fear of going on actual real life dates. My logic (sort of) is that everyone obviously portrays the best image of themselves online and I fear that a guy will see me in a bar or restaurant, look at me – realise I’m worse than I look online and scarper. I also have a real thing about eating in front of people I don’t know (major fear of having food in my teeth), so restaurant dates are literally my idea of fresh hell. I don’t know how to get over it. Send cures on a postcard.
I have this spectacular talent. Almost like some sort of messed up party trick that no one actually wants to own. I can literally friendzone anything and everything. And I don’t even know I’m doing it. I’m the sort of girl that still regularly speaks to guys online that I met via dating apps over THREE YEARS ago. But i’ve never actually met them. I seem to just make everyone my bezzie mate. Ooops. I somehow take it very quickly from flirty banter to bff type chat. I think my main issue is chatting online. I just need to do a little bit of messaging to check we’re on the same page and then save the actual conversation for a real life interaction. If I keep it going online for too long, I then put off meeting up irl and then bam romantical friendzone.
So there you go – 2 reasons why single life right now is such a struggle, if anyone has any tips please tweet them to me or leave a comment.
Do you have any tips on how to get over dateaphobia and friendzoning?